But the problem is that I've done my best to avoid most doctors for a long time. And so, the result is that I'm now easily confused and very awkward in these situations.
|Sleep lab sounds way more fun.|
Take, for example, those damn hospital gowns. Yesterday I had the pleasure of wearing two different ones for two different tests. The first one had three arm holes. So I put it on and had to step out of the change room to ask an old woman if I did it right.
"The back should be open, dear." was her answer. I explained that it had 3 arm holes and had to be wrapped around somehow. "Oh, then that should be right. That means you don't have to show everyone your backside." And indeed, when she got up to get her x-rays, I did see her backside.
The second gown was a different story. It had to be open in the back, that much I knew. But at the risk of showing everyone in the ultrasound offices my ass, I decided to tie it all up the wrong way and make a cute little oddly-fitting dress. That is, until I got to my ultrasound and couldn't undo the damn thing. Awkard. (But not as awkward as the ultrasounds themselves.)
When it came to bloodwork, I saw 3 large vials and asked if I had to have three needles. She said yes, because she didn't understand the question. In automatic panic mode, I looked away and kept rambling about something stupid. Weather, or how socks got their name. The first needle came. Then some pressure for awhile... more pressure... but no second needle. I started visibly wincing in preparation for the secret second needle, to the entertainment of other people waiting, but it was already done. Stupid doc-phobic me had no idea that they switch vials while the same needle is in. Ah, technology.
|This was my attempt at a positive attitude before a morning full of tests. It helped.|
So I'm learning. And since it looks like I'll have many more tests to come, I'll start to get a hang of this crap. Thus far the only new things that have been discovered before the reports come in are a thyroid problem and a crooked spine that I never knew about (which was unrelated to anything I was sent there for).
I hope my future tests allow me to be fully clothed.